Tool Bereft of Gentle Mastery
by kerricarri
Summary: Haku is too late to save Zabuza. Naruto's hope lies in bringing the boy to Konoha. The Gatou incident has resolved, but Naruto thinks he can save him. He is wrong. Years later and the now Rokudaime is disquieted by rumors of a boy of snow...


You may find this fic same old, same old, but it's not. There is no happy epilogue with Haku living in Konoha. It's not realistic and Haku's mentality would never allow it. I believe Haku would've killed himself immediately if Zabuza had died before him. Here, Haku is stalled, after which he struggles to live in peace.

In truth, though, I am a serious fan. There wouldn't have been a Naruto if there hadn't been a Haku.

A very old work of mine, it starts off directly out of the manga, and then turns radically AU.

* * *

_Forgive me…Zabuza-san…your tool has failed you._

"…Naruto-kun…please…" Lifeless eyes looked up, pleading, begging. "Take my life."

Naruto started shaking, eyes wide open in disbelief.

"Please, Naruto-kun. Kill me now."

But where there was terrified uncertainty, there now was nothing but incredulous fury on that visage. A slow look of defiance was making its way onto Naruto's face. Haku knew that look: It was the look he'd seen when he'd 'killed' Zabuza at the lakeside, and it was also the look Naruto had when he'd flown into an icy trap just to fight along side another friend.

It was that look that made Haku wary.

"What are you waiting for?" Haku said. "Why do you hesitate? Unless…" he glared, "you pity me."

"_Damn it_…no!" Naruto hissed, clenching his fists. "Is that…is that all the worth you put in yourself?! Are you just going to throw your life away just because you lost a fight—how can you want to die just like that?!"

"…"

"You don't have to just fight all the time…that can't be the only reason why that bastard would like you, right?! You are…" Eyes clenched tight, he screamed, "You're so much more than that!"

Something softened in those features of his. Haku somehow looked…nostalgic.

"Do you remember," he began softly, "that time in the forest? I remember thinking that we were two of a kind…alike in so many ways than just one."

Surprise made Naruto's eyes snap open. His anger seemed to visibly seep away. "Yeah." His voice was subdued, flat. "I do."

Haku smiled sadly, almost gently. "Then you understand…don't you?"

The genin's hands shook, and his hold on his kunai threatened to slip completely. "Does it…does it have to be this way?" Naruto looked up, angry and lost and confused all at once, yet there was an air of understanding around him. Between them. "Is that the only outcome, then?"

Smile turning strangely serene, the Mist-nin before him only nodded once. "Yes."

"You…" Naruto steeled himself. "I hope you find your dream then."

Haku lowered his head. "If…if we had met in another time, another place…not as enemies, but as strangers perhaps…we could have been friends."

Naruto's grip on the kunai tightened. "Yeah…"

"So." Haku slowly lifted his gaze and looked at him, smiling. "Thank you, Naruto-kun. Thank you."

_Zabuza-san, I…can only hope I can see you again on the other side. Perhaps Naruto-kun is right_, he thought, watching, waiting, as Naruto came at him with ferocious killer intent. _Perhaps you do see me differently. I can only hope to serve you until the end…_

"Zabuza-san..."

Sudden situational awareness came to Haku. He snapped eyes open, gaze wide and unseeing. There was no calm in his countenance now. _Zabuza-san…!_

Naruto jerked to an abrupt stop when Haku's hand snatched out and grasped his wrist. "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun!" Haku said, already performing seals with his other hand. "But I cannot die yet!" _Wait for me, Zabuza-san—I shall serve a purpose yet!_

Ice quickly formed into a flat, tall sheet on the other end of the bridge; an ice mirror. All the while its creator was in a panicked rush against time.

His upper body appeared, outstretched from beyond the the realm of the mirror. "Zabuza-san—!" Haku threw himself forward, terrified, his mind screaming endlessly at the sight.

_**SCHUUULGKK!!**_

…**splat**…**splat**…

_No. No, he couldn't...have...!_

Without warning, three shinobi flew across the bridge, but only two landed in a painful heap. Kakashi jumped away, hands already set in a seal, prepared for any attack, but there was no need.

Haku stared dumbly at Zabuza; all thoughts of the enemy—Zabuza's _killer—_were forgotten. Tossed away. Nothing mattered now. Nothing presided more than that faint, faint hope—

_He's not…dead. Right? Make sure he's not dead!_

"Z-Zabuza-san?" Trembling hands rested on a bloody chest, a huge, gaping hole in the large expanse of skin where the Chidori had connected. By their own accord, tears started dripping down in silent agony even as his heart screamed denial.

Zabuza gave a weak, feeble grin. It was somehow _wrong _seeing such a vulnerable expression on his face, on the man who'd always scoffed at weakness. _Zabuza was not weak, so why…? "_I…I—**koffkoff**—had it coming…bu-but…t-th-_thank_ you…Ha…"

It was the smile of a dying man.

Haku clasped his master's shaking hand, trying not to sob. He didn't spare worthless words of comfort on his fallen master—they were just that, worthless. He would not allow Zabuza's last look of his tool to be one of disgust. After all, from the first moment he raised him, Zabuza made it clear that he would not spare any worthless words of consolation or encouragement for him...! But, but he couldn't do anything!

_Zabuza-__san…Zabuza-san…!!_

In vain he began to inspect the wound desperately even when he knew it was far too late. A worthless,_ useless_ gesture…but one of comfort. Two-dimensional comfort, but it was all he had.

And Zabuza knew this, but he only closed his eyes as if to spare himself the pain, the sight. How shameful his tool was being. How utterly pathetic.

Pushing his master out of the way at the very last moment had only directed the Chidori to his _sternum_…it was damage far worse than a hit to the heart.

What had he done?

Haku stared numbly at the hole in Zabuza's chest. He could not look away from it. He could not.

How could he be so useless? So worthless…how could he live without Zabuza-san? How had he grown to be so strong under his tutelage…only to be this feeble when it came to saving his master's life?!

From a strong show of emotion, the hand in Haku's hands suddenly clenched around them. Haku looked up from the fatal blow and into Zabuza's face. He was shaking uncontrollably.

Zabuza had opened his eyes to look at his protégée for the last time. They were glazed nearly white in pain, but somehow— faraway—Zabuza still managed to convey exactly what he was trying to tell Haku that his voice could not.

Tears were slipping down the feared missing-nin's face, perhaps for the first time in his life. For the first time since becoming the feared Demon of the Mist, Zabuza was vulnerable.

Only for subordinate. _All_ for his subordinate. "This is goodbye, _Ha_…"

_Blood…so much __blood__…_

_SHHEEECCKK!!_

"...ku..."

Just like when...

Unbidden, a flitting image of his father came to mind, his mother lying dead on the ground.

Just like when...

Haku shakily stood on two feet, trembling and shaking uncontrollably, violently. The whites of his eyes were stricken, pupils mere pinpricks.

Just like when…_"I murdered Father_!"

He wrenched himself away.

"**ZABUZA-SAMA**!!"

Haku almost collapsed to his knees, but only stumbled forward, still keeping upright. He wobbled a step or two before his head slowly turned towards Kakashi, a wave of killer intent sent towards the jounin's way. Almost in a detached way, Haku drew up senbon, body trembling from grief.

But Kakashi was ready for this, and his slack jawed visage quickly became emotionless as he prepared for another attack. Already the sounds of a thousand chirping birds filled the air.

But what stopped him cold was not Haku himself, but to his shock—Naruto!

Relief that had been scrawled over Naruto's face before drained away almost immediately, like the pallor that had left his face. Moments before he learned Haku was alive—_alive!_—but when he turned as the mist cleared…

_Haku_…Tears sprang to his eyes…_Haku tried saving Zabuza!! He was willing to die in that bastard's place!_

"So that's what you meant…" he muttered, "n-not die yet…"

Kakashi's Chidori died away long before Naruto finally composed himself enough to look up at his sensei, pleadingly. "Kakashi-sensei…you can't…he…Haku…" he turned helplessly towards the Mist-nin. "You…"

Haku briefly closed his eyes and the senbons dropped from limp hands. "You win," he said, a slither of hysteria creeping into his voice, "he's _dead_."

Naruto took a step forward, totally at a loss to what to do. "Haku…it…"

Haku completely ignored him, walking brokenly past him, dazed, numb. It was as if he hadn't even heard Naruto.

And his voice…so cold—

"…_You killed him_."

Kakashi held his gaze steadily. The sheer grief the boy displayed was enough to almost make the hardened jounin flinch, but he refused to show anything but respect for the Missing-nin he'd just killed. Looking away…being ashamed of the inevitable…it would've been a mockery of Zabuza now.

He would not turn away.

Kakashi did nothing until Haku had stumbled in front of him. The boy stared at him, lost, but there was no mistaking the crazed desperation in those eyes. "If you fight me, you will not walk away alive," Kakashi's flat words fell on deaf ears.

Except for Naruto's.

"_Kakashi-sensei_—! Don't…!" Naruto rushed forward, panicked, arms held out wide as a fierce expression overcame his face. "You can't kill Haku!"

Haku stepped forward, bridging the gap between he and the deadly special jounin. He tugged one of Kakashi's hands onto his chest, where his heart lay underneath.

Haku smiled.

"Kill me, then."

Naruto sharply turned his head, his attention all on Haku. His jaw dropped, as shock made him stutter. "H-Haku…why? Not after that…you _can't_ give up…!"

"He's not," Kakashi murmured, equally as shocked, though only his raised brows suggested it. "You have to understand, Naruto. He was used…only as a tool for Zabuza. And now that the 'Demon of the Mist' is gone…"

"I have no reason to live," Haku finished. His eyes caught Naruto's. "Naruto-kun…you fought me and defeated me. You stole away my purpose to live…but now, there is no going back. Zabuza-san is _gone_…now there is truly nothing left for me." Haku looked up, a twisted, unhinged grin growing on his face. "So, Sharingan Kakashi…won't you kill me?"

Naruto froze. Memories, one by one, assaulted him at those words. His fist clenched tight enough to hurt, to draw blood. Something fierce was growing in that face.

_I had people who were important to me a long time ago..._

_I realized that that was the most painful thing one can feel…_

_He wanted this ability that everyone hated…he encouraged it, he even cherished it—! _

_He raised me despite knowing what I was…this __**hated**__ Kekkei Genkai of mine… _

_You told me you were going to become the strongest ninja in your village so you can earn everyone's respect…_

_The feeling that you are not needed by anyone in this world._

…_but if you had someone in your life who did more than that…who acknowledged your existence—even cared for you—wouldn't that person become the most important…treasured…person in your life?!_

"Haku, you…you want to die just because you failed? Huh?! Are you just going to give up like that…when Zabuza wanted you to _live_!"

Haku slowly turned towards Naruto, expression falling impassive, flat. "What are you saying."

"Zabuza…Zabuza wanted you to _live_ Haku!" Naruto straightened and flung out a finger to point at Zabuza's body. "You called out—you gave warning! And he…he…" Naruto clenched his eyes shut and yelled, "he didn't let you die!!"

Haku stilled. He didn't even notice he had nearly stopped breathing. He let out a gasp, desperate for breath.

Kakashi's look of wonderment still hadn't gone away, inwardly applauding the boy's perception. _Naruto…he's right. Zabuza, before, he…_

"_Zabuza-san!"_

"_...Haku?!__"_

It was the first time Kakashi had ever seen such a look of vulnerability, such blind, abrupt _terror,_ in the missing-nin's face, the self-proclaimed Demon of the Mist.

And it wasn't even _he_, his executer, or any other shinobi in this world who put that expression on that man's face…

It was his subordinate's choice that made Zabuza decide in that one split second what he was going to do.

He hadn't—_and didn't—_let Haku die. That was his decision.

Kakashi nearly stepped back at this new revelation. _It's true then, what Naruto noticed. And…_his eyes flickered over to Haku…_he, too, noticed but did not believe…_

And yet, the sheer conviction in Naruto's voice shook Haku to the core.

"You…you called out his name, Haku! And Zabuza…he didn't let you shield him—I saw him, _I saw him!_ And he…for someone who only thinks of you as a toolhe let himself die when he saw what you were going to do!"

Haku stumbled back, hands going over his ears. "Stop it…stop it…_stop it! _I wasn't able to save him! Zabuza-san…_Zabuza-san…_I failed as his tool! I should have been able to save him, but why…_why_…"

His eyes snapped open in realization. _When I realized he was in danger…by calculations and the speed in which I left, coupled with my mirror, I should have…__I should have been able to shield and take the blow for Zabuza completely!_

But, but _why_…the only thing he was able to do was just to push his master away…and then it had already been too late! He was a useless—useless tool.

"_Idiot_!" a voice barked. Haku was knocked to the ground with one painful blow. In detached wonderment, he stared up ahead into Naruto's snarling visage.

"I know what you're thinking…" Naruto said, low voice hissing the words, "…'I should have been faster, I should have been able to save him'…but…but _Haku_…can't you get it through that thick skull of yours…? The reason you weren't able to _save_ Zabuza is because he didn't _let__ yo_u save him!"

_I understand. I am your weapon, and your tool. Keep me beside you…and I'll strike where you tell me to strike, kill whom you tell me to kill._

"…I am his tool, and he, my master," Haku's voice shook. "I struck where he told me to strike, killed whomever he told me to kill. He saw me nothing more as a tool…even when he was my most precious person."

Lifeless. Dead. Flat. Haku was nearly numb to the world, detached. And yet, despite all he was doing to not listen, Naruto's words were opening up possibilities that seemed so achingly _wonderful_…so heartbreakingly warm…

But he didn't allow himself to believe. He could not. He refused this new potential hurt. Zabuza was _dead_. There was nothing that could be done now, and the boy's words were only hurting him in the end….

_He could not listen _because if he did...

Naruto, evidently, saw the change come over Haku's face. Although he was far from a mind reader, and perhaps not the most perceptive of the bunch, he knew one thing for sure.

Haku didn't believe him!

His tirade continued, frustrated and angry at his continual failure to convince the missing-nin. "Why can't you believe that you were meant to be more than a tool to him, Haku?! Zabuza was your most important person…so why can't you even think that he did love you! Why can't you stop being guilty for the death you weren't responsible of?!"

He knelt beside Haku and smashed a fist into the ground. No matter how hard Naruto tried he just _couldn't get through to him._ And it was pissing him off!

Why couldn't Haku just see what was so obvious? Was he so deep in his shinobi mindset that he couldn't possibly accept this truth?

But Naruto had no idea just how much his words affected Haku.

_That Zabuza-san had actually thought of me as more than a tool…to the point that he would reject this tool's sacrifice…is a pain too great to bear, a burden too heavy to balance._

"He rejected me," Haku. "Therefore I failed as his tool, his subordinate by living in place of him and for the slightest possibility that he didn't allow himself to take the choice I offered him."

Naruto shot him a look of such incredulity that Haku felt something stir in him. But…no…he couldn't allow himself _to_ _believe_…

The child shinobi was only setting him up for a greater fall…_and he didn't even know it_. The ignorant boy. The foolish boy!

But Naruto surprised him even further. "You're so damn _stubborn_," Naruto gave a weak grin. "Don't…don't make me give you a beatdown if you don't listen. I'll make you acknowledge it no matter how stubborn you are! Uzumaki Naruto promises it!"

Naruto's feeble attempts at humor did nothing to smooth Haku's frown. But for a moment, the missing-nin's eyes did soften. "Naruto-kun, you…" Haku shook his head, "you are like a tumbling force of nature. I am tired. I give up."

Naruto's grin became even broader. "Do you mean it, Haku-chan?! You believe me, right, right? I knew it—hah hah!!"

About to say something, Haku blinked at being cut off so abruptly. For right then, Naruto started doing a happy dance around Haku. The Mist-nin let him be with a wry grin.

But Naruto's team only sighed at their hyperactive teammate's antics, and Sakura took it a step further and hit Naruto over the headhead. "Baka! Why don't you pay attention and see that Haku-san's trying to speak?"

Unashamedly, Naruto laughed. "Ne, ne, sorry, Haku-chan, sorry!"

Haku shook his head, the bemused grin still on his face. "No, it's alright. All I wanted to say was—"

He never did finish. He didn't have time, for he disappeared so suddenly, so completely—a common ninja flicker technique. Kakashi was instantly on guard, but the others were confused.

Especially Naruto.

"Ehh? Why'd Haku-chan go?"

"Quiet!" Kakashi said, glaring into the dissipating fog.

His errant subordinate pivoted around, ready to argue with his sensei, when he stopped.

Far off to the side, at the uncompleted end of the bridge, a raucous roar came from a mob of mercenaries.

And leading them was Gato.

Yet Haku was nowhere to be seen.

Gatou took a step forward, eying the scene with barely suppressed glee. His grin turned malicious, however, when he saw Zabuza's dead body.

Yet…his eyes searched for something that wasn't there…where was that damn brat? Unbidden, he looked down at his broken wrist and snarled.

Probably dead, he thought dismissively. Little did he know, this assumption would be his greatest and last.

He strode forward, sneering. "So, Zabuza couldn't even kill you guys, huh?" Gatou snorted derisively. "Shows how useless and weak he was—even to the end!"

And then he did something unthinkable.

He started kicking Zabuza's corpse.

Kakashi's one eye narrowed, his only reaction to Gatou's despicable action. He made no move to stop him, but his body tensed, as if Kakashi was restraining himself from doing something drastic.

_Even missing-nins deserve more honor than that scum._

Naruto, however, didn't stand for Zabuza's defilement.

He saw red.

"SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!" His face was a snarling visage. He ran forward, ready to give Gatou a piece of his mind, when a hand suddenly clamped down hard on his shoulder.

Naruto jerked out of the grip and spun around, protest on his lips, "But, Kakashi-sensei! Why?! He's kicking Zabuza's body!" He bristled. "And Haku…where is Haku?! He's just letting his master take it, huh?!"

"Think before you act, Naruto," Kakashi said, brows tightening. "You are outnumbered, and foolishly jumping into a mob of mercenaries will get you killed."

Naruto's face fell, but then hardened in an instant. "But, Kakashi-sensei! We can't just stand here and do nothing!" Still glaring at his jounin instructor, Naruto flung a finger in Gatou's direction. "Haku's not doing anything, and I don't get why! But if he isn't going to do anything, _I_ will!"

"Hmph. The dobe is right…for once," said a weak, strained voice, but unmistakable in naming its owner.

Naruto's eyes widened as he stared, shock-still, at the vision of Sasuke being supported by Sakura, Tazuna trailing behind the two anxiously.

"You…" Naruto was too happy to care that he'd just been insulted. "You're alive!" he exclaimed.

Sasuke only smirked. "You can't get rid of me…that easily."

"But…" Naruto's voice faltered, "how'd he live?" he said, almost to himself. "I saw him…I _saw_ Haku kill him—!"

"…You're wrong, Naruto-kun. Only one will die by my hand now."

A lithe figure fell from the sky.

Eyes widening, Sasuke yelled, "Naruto—_baka_—watch out!"

But the figure wasn't going for Naruto.

It went straight for Gatou.

Landing easily on his feet, Haku slowly rose from his crouch on the ground. Eyes cold and hard, he gazed imperiously into Gatou's suddenly fearful eyes.

"I told you before, hadn't I?" Haku said. In one swift motion, a senbon formed in his hand and flung mercilessly forward immediately after materializing. "Zabuza-san will not be defiled by the likes you!"

Gatou, in his moment of panic, stumbled backwards and fell on his ass. Scrambling up, he was too slow to dodge Haku's precise aim, and was hit in the shoulder, precisely at a vital spot on the human body.

Feebly, Gatou climbed to his feet, his cane his only support. "What did you do to me, you brat?" he spat. In vain, he struggled to pull the senbon from his shoulder, but to his horror, it seemed to _melt_ right through his suit. His body was sucking it in...

The moment it entered his system, he felt a splurge of iciness spread across from his shoulder and all throughout his body. He froze, limbs jerking and flopping about mad from the excruciating sensations.

"Now stay there, Gatou," said Haku, not unkindly, "like the good dog you are."

"Ugh—! What…the…_hell_ did you…_do_?!"

"Poison," Haku said. "It travels very quickly in the bloodstream. Especially when entered through the heart."

He pulled something from his sash. When found, Haku dropped it onto the ground. A thud came from the small, empty canteen.

It was tiny, but it was obvious what its purpose had been.

"P…_Poison_?!"

"It seems to be working," Haku said, looking him over mildly.

"Don't just stand there!" screamed Gatou, flailing his one unbound arm. "Kill—k-kill him!_" _The nervously rustling mob suddenly came to attention.

"But, Boss…" a lanky haired one stuttered, "we dun wanna be poisoned, too!"

A roar of agreement came from the others.

Gatou was seething. "You're afraid of this stupid kid? Fine! Your price is doubled then! Tripled! I don't care about the others—_just bring me that brat's head_!"

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto cried. "Haku can't take on all of them! We have to help him!"

"Naruto-kun," a soft, soft clear rang out from above the din, "I do not require your assistance...but thank you."

Unseen, Haku shuddered beneath closed lids.

"Thank you for…everything."

His eyes snapped open, and his cold and hardened shinobi front appeared at last.

Faster than anyone had ever seen him move, faster than Sasuke had ever seen him attack, Haku sped forward and struck.

But the mob was ready for him. Giving out a loud yell, they all ran recklessly forward to intercept the lone shinobi, spurred on by their boss, who had limped to the back of the mob for safety's sake. But there was something inhuman about Haku's speed just then, and before any of them could react, he'd already assessed the situation and acted accordingly.

_When people are protecting something truly precious to them, they truly can become as strong as they must be!_

"Makyou...Hyou**...**_Shou_," Haku hissed, and then promptly disappeared. An ice mirror, easily ten feet tall, took his place.

One by one identical mirrors formed. Like a terrible cage, they formed around Gatou before anyone had realized it. Focused completely around the man, Gatou could do nothing but panic as he saw repeated images of Haku flash around him, seemingly mocking him with glimpses of a demonic mask. But even with Gatou's shrill demands for his hired crew to act, they stood confused, frozen, unsure of how to respond to this new threat.

How had the missing-nin been able to reach Gatou all the way across the group, though? One foolishly tried to blindly attack one of the mirrors imprisoning Gatou. But the mirror did something strange…something abnormal, and altogether alien and cruel. It melded to the samurai at first touch, drawing and consuming him inside a mirrored hell.

Heedless to his shrieks, the mirror kept eating and eating him until he, too, joined Gatou in the middle of the prison. He was terrified, even more so than the business tycoon. Evidently, that brief trip through the ice had held unspeakable horrors for the man; he couldn't even raise up his sword against Haku's fleeting image.

"What are you doing!" Gatou snarled, shoving the samurai back at the mirror from where he'd come through. "DO SOMETHING!"

Trembling, the man lifted his sword to do as he was told. With a loud cry, he stumbled forward with a clumsy, wild swing. Nearly lopping Gatou's head off, his employer tripped to the floor, screaming his indignation, but he was soon completely forgotten. The moment the steel touched the chakra imbued ice, the samurai knew something was wrong.

The mirror attacked back.

Almost immediately, a flurry of senbons, almost glowing with the potent poison locked inside each and every needle, shot out. The poor unlucky fool got hit full on, mercilessly.

He collapsed to the ground, twitching and convulsing wildly, like a bug set aflame, as the poison did its work. With a loud, exaggerated, almost comical gasping gag, the mercenary samurai died.

And sent the others into a panicked rage.

"Damnit, where is that little bastard!"

"I told you he'd poison us…I told you!"

"He won't be able to take us all on!"

"GWAGHH—hhh…"

In their midst, they could only stare, horrified, as one of their fellows started to ooze blood from a multitude of what seemed invisible wounds. The unfortunate bastard crashed to the ground, dead before he could even fall.

Silence.

Like ants, the mercenaries were sent into a frenzy. One by one, they were picked off with ease, almost leisurely! And with each flash of a mirror and each flick of the senbon and each speck of spluttered poison, the mob was being felled mercilessly. Some were merely injected with poisons—those were the lucky ones. Others were caught in spasmodic seizures or had unexplained inflammations where they'd been hit or even were made stuck fall in bouts of hellish fevers on the spot.

Soon, as each poisonous ice needle dealt out its unique yet horrific effects, the mob was reduced to a sniveling pile of near sobbing men. Within less than two minutes, the entire crowd was nearly dead.

"P-please…stop!"

"Don't kill me—please, I'm begging you…"

"Spare us! Kami-sama…Kami-sama, have mercy on us!"

Despite the scene being relatively clear of blood and gore, the sheer agony caused by the unknown components differing from senbon to senbon more than made up for it. They were causing unbelievable pain to its victims that death by sword would have seemed a blessing, a humane method of killing.

What was worse, the mercenaries knew they were dying. Slowly, teasingly..._their deaths fluttered before their eyes_.

The massacre had gone too far.

"Haku—STOP!"

The killing paused. And they, the mercenaries—far from being relieved—trembled in fright. They waited with terrible dread for what was to come, for the attack that would surely claim the rest of them. For the final attack that would swallow them whole! This anticipated horror clawed at their throats and seized them with fear, and many moaned and shuddered for what was to come.

But it never came.

Naruto was shaking. But there was strength in those eyes, a conviction that cried against the murders taking place before them. Just as he could not take the defilement of his previously enemy, Zabuza, he could not stand for these heartless deaths either. Not at the hands of Haku, at the hands of his most gentle friend…

"No more, Haku," Naruto said, "no more..."

"Loss of such control," Kakashi murmured beside him. "But he's not really at fault here."

Naruto didn't reply. He didn't have to.

Haku's mirrors, which hung suspended all around the bridge, suddenly shattered. The air around them gleamed with glittering glass shards, spraying them all with a fine shower of ice.

Uncertain. Tentative. "Haku…?" But most of all, scared.

And then his voice rang out clearly despite its soft spoken tones. "Like I said, Naruto…only one would die by my hand."

With shocked anger, Naruto yelled, "What are talking about, Haku!" Flinging an accusatory arm towards the crumpled mercenaries, he screamed, "You killed them all—!"

"No." The mist cleared. "I did not."

The first thing everyone saw was Gatou's standing body. But here Gatou's neck should have been, there was a gaping maw instead. Even as his eyes were wide open in shock and terror, only a gurgle could be heard from the slashed cavity that was his throat.

His voice box had been completely mutilated. Torn, ripped, and shredded—they littered the ground around Gatou, those bits and pieces of fleshy muscle. It was a murder, however well deserved, that was cruel. It had been carried out among the screams and deaths of the hired help. Yet Gatou still lived because of the poison in his system, the poison that kept him back from blessed death.

A poison used for sadistic torture—a poison that kept Gatou alive even now.

His agonized screams had mixed with his men's, and no one had noticed until he was revealed in all his crude glory. No matter whether Haku had killed all those mercenaries or not, it effectively had made everyone promptly forget about Gatou in the face of the massacre. Haku had achieved what he'd been aiming for since the beginning.

Nobody spoke. Nobody dared to.

Haku's disembodied voice spoke again.

"This...is what true death is, what Zabuza has taught me. Gatou is finished and is no more. His tyranny ended the moment he stepped onto this bridge. The moment he…hurt…_me_." There was an anguished note to the last word. "It is over. It is finished."

What lingering mist parted, allowing Haku to walk through. Appearing weary now that his vengeance was carried out, he did not look happy.

Pausing, Haku turned his head to look at the other end of the bridge. "You there…you may show yourselves."

Thinning out, the mist fully revealed a stunned audience, who looked upon the scene with something akin to awe. They were the villagers. Men, women, children—but leading them was a comically armed Inari.

Unbeknownst to all, they had arrived a little earlier, only to witness Haku at work.

Suddenly, one man gave a loud cry. "That boy killed Gatou—Gatou's dead!!"

It was as if the screen that had muffled the world's sound lifted with the joyous shout that came from the crowd. Sunlight broke through the clouds, lighting up the whole sky, illuminating the bridge, their triumph.

Inari grinned. "Heh…see, Naruto! I came late, but that guy over there…he's a real hero!"

Naruto only gave a small smile, which did not erupt into a wide grin even as the situation really sank in. Kakashi's eye curved up in satisfaction. Similar looks of relief were exchanged between the others, and the villagers who'd come cheered all the more.

Unable to forget the sight of all those _deaths_ and unable to join in their happiness, Naruto turned away from the villagers, then stopped.

Haku, some ways away from the raucous, was kneeling at Zabuza's side, a bitter smile gracing his face. He was absently stroking the dead man's hand while quietly murmuring to the corpse as if to seek the closure that never came.

Naruto quietly stood by him, eyes subdued at the grief he clearly saw written on the other boy's face.

"What…" Naruto wetted too dry lips. "What...are you going to do now?" There was no question that Zabuza's body was now Haku's to deal with.

Haku's smile turned wistful. "In the place that always snows," he said, eyes unseeing. "At the place he claimed me as his own. Yes, I will take him there."

Naruto was silent, but came forward to grasp Haku comfortingly. The boy looked over his shoulder, sharp shadows thrown over his face.

"That place," Naruto said suddenly. "I think I'd like to go there, too."

"You mission is over, Naruto-kun."

"But…I _want_ to come. Zabuza, he—" Naruto broke off, choking, "he...he was someone who deserved that at least."

Haku stood, shrugging off Naruto's hand. He looked out across the bridge, seeing some faraway image only he could see. "You may come then. I don't care either way." His voice had gone cold, and his face was impassive. "Makyou…Hyou Shou."

Looking like he was going to say something, Naruto was stopped when a hand came down firmly upon his shoulder.

"Leave it alone, Naruto," Kakashi said. "We need rest. He's right, our mission is complete."

"But Haku…"

"Respect his mourning." Kakashi shook his head. "There is nothing more we can do for him now."

As Haku closed his eyes, he looked serene, calm, as if his master's body wasn't lying at his feet. As if he couldn't smell the pungent smell of death, familiar and rank and always chasing at his heels. A smell that had now claimed the person most closest to him.

Lighting a slightly shaking hand, it clenched as suddenly as his eyes snapped open, and he willed the water to obey.

And so it did.

To Naruto's amazement, Zabuza's body was sinking into the bridge. He realized that the concrete that was previously underneath Zabuza was no longer there; instead, the surface underneath gleamed in the sunlight.

"Wha…what's happening?" Had Haku not have looked so calm, Naruto would have panicked by now.

His voice was low as he answered the boy. "I will take his body there and perform the ritual in peace. Then…then…"

Haku bowed his head, grief stricken.

_I will leave this place_.

Worried, blue eyes met his own, but Haku managed to smile. It was vague.

He must never know, not this boy of Konoha, that what Haku planned to do after his master was laid to rest...

The senbon that brushed against his arm in his sleeve felt cold.

--

"_You are right, Kakashi-san. It is in death that I shall meet Zabuza again."_

"_...I thought I told you off about that!"_

"_No, Naruto-kun, you misunderstand me," Haku said. "With Zabuza gone and myself alive, Hunter-nins will undoubtedly double their effects to kill me. It is only because of Zabuza that I've survived thus far. I will die."_

_Kakashi shrugged, apathetic. "What he means, Naruto, is that there'll be double effort to bring Haku in as he'll be perceived as weak without Zabuza's reputation to aid him."_

_"Come what may, I will die if I die, and I will live if I live. Undoubtedly, there will be an even greater onslaught of Hunter-nins, as Kakashi-san said." Haku looked weary at the thought. "But I will persevere. You need not worry."_

--

Accompanying them for an aimless lack of anything to do, Haku refused to step a foot into their village. He insisted on living beyond stone walls. He would not be trapped.

Throughout their journey, Kakashi seemed indifferent to the missing-nin's presence, but Haku knew full well the messy politics that would occur were Haku willing to follow Naruto's naïve thoughts. The hope that was expressed for Haku's acceptance in the village.

"_Hey, Haku!" Naruto grinned. "Why dontcha just come back home with us? To Konoha!"_

He disappeared from the group before he even said a word.

He retired from being a shinobi. He wanted to. But how can a carrier of a bloodline never stop fighting? He felt content to sit through his days as a infiltrated civilian nearby. Maybe a little rice village a little ways off...

They did not need to know that.

For a precious few moments, Haku had allowed himself to hope. It was a dire mistake. All he could see now were dancing visions of what life would be within Konoha.

It was a mistake to dream.

Zabuza was dead.

He was unobtrusive enough, and not stupid enough, to stand out while entering Konoha's walls. And he never entered alone. Gaining the trust of the simple farmers back at at his home, he helped with carrying their cargo into the village. Continually strapping barrels and readying wagons for the journey ahead, the men were taken aback at the lithe boy's surprising strength.

They knew he was a boy. An extraordinary pretty one, but they knew full well that Haku could take care of himself. He was not a hapless, skinny thing. Whoever made the mistake of thinking otherwise paid the price.

Life went on. As their rice-laden wagons passed clearance, Haku was treated to the sight of Konoha in its full glory. The world fairly gleamed behind high stone walls; it was no wonder Haku had dreamed.

He despaired.

This continued on for some time until Haku was proven to be of invaluable help. The farmers were grateful for extra hands, as the menial labor would've have cost them more money at Konoha proper, but Haku was indifferent. He only helped them because he was aimless. He had no direction, no purpose. But he did know that he did not want to be a vagrant any longer; he wanted to rest. Peace was all he asked.

Peace, he thought, was something that would come the further away he was from the Land of Water. Unwilling to travel, unwilling to move away from his unknowing friends, Haku finally settled into this uneasy life.

At village proper, he wore dull, formless clothes and passed himself off as a farmer's runt. Whatever prettiness Haku had that drew attention to his looks, he parried with his near hostile and self-imposed seclusion. It was only the farmers' presence he was vaguely comfortable in, and he stayed close to them throughout their frequent and brief visits to Konoha.

Consequently, the farmers thought him afraid. Worried for their small companion, they helped the boy's want of isolation by leaving him alone to guard their supplies. Under the tarp of the wagon, Haku liked to lay. He looked beaten and cowed, and the farmers were at a loss at how to help.

When they came back with a bumbled amount of profit in exchange for all their bales of rice, Haku stood.

In a village of deceit and lies, the civilian Haku was supposed to be blind to machinations and manipulations. Shinobi were cruel. Their hearts were of ice. But Haku was not a civilian and he was not an ignorant fool. The farmers were his tentative companions, but his allies nonetheless; he would not allow them to be swindled.

Ridiculous, Haku thought. Why did Konoha feel the need to take more than they needed? Were they so greedy and gluttonous to take the hard efforts of simple farmers? The Fire Country was the breadbasket of the world. They had no need for such underhanded deceit, even if they were rebuilding from the aftermath of the Chunnin Exams.

The farmers would not be cheated.

Konoha forced his hand to reveal his true persona. He was sharp, savvy with money, and his shrewdness eventually paid off. His subtle advisement of the farmers gave them an edge they so needed; the rice patties back home flourished.

Their little village slowly grew.

Haku taught the men everything he knew, all the sense he had picked up on his travels. In business matters, they realized, Haku knew a lot more than they ever knew.

It'd come with the life of being the tool of a well established mercenary. But they didn't need to know that.

He wondered if anybody could tell. He was tiring of this game.

The child held him back with a trembling hand. Gently, he released the grip the boy had on his robes and crouched to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I have no food for you."

"N-no…that's not it! Thank you for coming always."

Haku's smile was stilted. "Child, this is all I can do."

"At the orphanage...it's so ugly, but you're not! Y-you're nice and pretty and so kind..."

"Thank you, but I must go." He stood and half turned, when he stopped. Without looking back, he pulled off the forest green scarf from his neck and held it out.

He could not see, but the boy was delighted. The scarf from taken from his hands with a caressing touch, and Haku knew that he had done something good. Never mind that it was near hot and sweltering outside, the child didn't seem to care.

"T-thank…Thank you, oneesan!"

Haku stiffened, but the boy could not see; he had already run away.

"...So. This is the form they love, and no one ever remembers the dead mercenary to whom I serve."

Bitter irony. He lived while Zabuza did not.

Haku leaned under the generous shade of a tree and did not move. Tilting his face up, he breathed. The air was heavy and fresh, its humidity latching onto his skin. Nothing at all like Water. His eyes closed.

"Let us end this charade."

--

"You're leaving us."

"What?" he said.

One of the men stopped before him. He clasped the thin boy with his two hands. The enormous, calloused weight on Haku's shoulders were heavy.

Another gave a gruff frown and came up next to him. "It's okay, boy. We all knew this day was going to come. You needn't have told us. We knew."

Haku's eyes were wide.

"Now," one of them said. His manner was hesitant, a bit slow. Awkward. "You...you be safe now, you hear? Come back if you can, but come back content first!"

"But," Haku said, wavering, "you need me."

The farmer with his hands on his shoulders still hadn't moved. His smile was gentle as he looked upon the boy who'd helped their lives. "We know what you did. You don't need to hide anymore. We're grateful, but I understand that you are not happy."

"...Why are you all doing this?" Haku said. The entire village, however small, was before him.

The surly one next to him snorted. "Boy, how can we let you go without our blessing? Go on then. Get. We can get on fine without you."

"I'm not needed?"

"The question is," the first one said, stepping away from Haku, "is whether you need _us_ anymore. You haven't found what you were looking for, have you? We've failed you." The man's laugh was gentle. "Actually, I'd have hopes that you'd stay, but you've already packed your belongings. You're all set to go. Are you uneasy? Whatever you plan to do, we support you. You're kind isn't the type to be tied down to one place."

"Come back after finding what you're looking for, boy, or don't come back at all."

The hesitant one rested a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Be happy, Nanjo. Your name means snow, right? Your namesake must be far from here."

Haku was overwhelmed. His body trembled as he broke out of the farmer's hold. He looked at them all before bowing deep and low, eyes clenched shut.

He said nothing, only held taunt his form. A stunned silence, and then a hand came upon his head. It ruffled a few strands.

Haku looked up.

"Raise your head up high and live, Nanjo."

--

The snow made him cold. Perhaps he'd been spoiled by Fire's good weather.

An unmarked grave laid before him, absent of a physical body, but the meaning was still there.

The palpitations of his heart thudded in his ears. His throat fluttered even as he held the senbon up to its side. He should have been calm.

The sharp tip pressed against his delicate skin. Blood was drawn.

Without hesitation, he pushed.

--

The Land of Rice had long healed its wounds. Violated and corrupted into one madman's treasure, it had been years since Orochimaru's fall.

Akatsuki was no more.

Konohagakure shined.

One shinobi stood proud, but humble, a soft smile at his lips. He stood before the mountain of his forefathers and raised his head up high.

Absently, he looked out from across the balcony and swept his gaze across the village. He has never been so proud.

Robes of white and fire flares around him, and the kanji on his back proclaims him for what he really is, for what all the world sees.

"My precious people..."

The man approached the end of the platform and gripped the railing before him. Words like fallen ash whispers about his ear, but fly away before he could properly grasp them. Fleeting sensations reminding him of the boy he was, and old impressions of a boy made of snow...

Quick as a needle's prick, a man appears behind him, crouched. His head is low and respectful, as is his voice. "Hokage-sama, you called for me?"

"Arrange me a vacation." The shinobi's voice had turned quiet. "There is someplace I must go."

"Hokage-sama?"

"It will not take long. I am not skirting my duties." The shinobi shook his head. "I am visiting our country's borders."

"Such work is for chunnin, Hokage-sama. Possibly genin."

Something made the shinobi smile. "Then it is as a genin I go."

--

The farming village, once the prosperous link between Fire and Rice, had been captured by the newly formed Sound as Orochimaru performed a masterfully subtle coup d'etat. The border between the two countries had closed off, and Konoha investigated the sudden lack of rice.

Now that the Snake Sannin was gone, the Land of Rice had turned back to normal. Its economy had suffered under its previous occupation, but it quickly grew until all of its commoners had a taste of wealth. It soon became a merchant's hub.

It was why the shinobi found it strange that the farming village in question was still traditional and rural. A quaint location, it was like a spot of history nestled in between two neighboring countries.

Times were changing, but the shinobi found that time stood still within those village walls.

He stood on the threshold and breathed.

The suspended feeling that blanketed the village reminded him of freshly fallen snow. It was such a startling, but apt, realization. The place was an anomaly, as if it were in his dreams.

A child greeted him at the gates. Her eyes widened, but she did not seem cowed in the presence of a Kage. She seemed delighted. "Hokage-sama," she said, tugging him further into the roads by clasping his hand. "Hokage-sama, he'll be so pleased."

"Who will?" the shinobi said.

But she did not answer.

"There," she said, pointing towards a door. "He can tell you what you want to know!"

She skipped away before he could question her. He did not bother to go after her. The experience was too surreal.

He wondered what made his breath go still.

He entered the modest home. "Hello?"

"H-Hokage-sama?" The grizzled old farmer looked shocked. "What are you doing here?"

The shinobi gave a nod. "I am sorry to intrude. I came here because of a rumor..."

"You're him." The old man suddenly stood up, disbelief causing him to laugh. "I can't believe it. You're really him..."

The shinobi's brows furrow. "I'm sorry?"

"Ah. Forgive my conduct." But the old man was still practically glowing. "It's just that I had no idea you would be the Rokudaime himself. It...I'm a bit surprised."

"Please explain."

"The boy of snow. You were the only one to understand. That's why you're here, aren't you? You heard that a boy of snow was looking for you. After your coronation, he left but not without telling us about you." His voice was sincere. "Thank you."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"We call him Nanjo around these parts."

"Nanjo," the shinobi mouthed. "It means snow, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does. He has never admitted it, but I suspect it's not his real name."

His mouth is dry. "What did this Nanjo have to say?"

"Excuse me." The old man nodded respectfully before rummaging for something in the room. He found it, and the shinobi saw that it was crinkled paper.

The old man read, "'I remember the forest.'" He squinted and adjusted the letter. "...Eh, 'I've forgotten the talk and the herbs, but not my intent. It is clear. I see you, and it is all clear. I remember you now. My intent is gone. Yours never will.'"

The old man shook his head, and then looked up. "I'm sorry, Hokage-sama. There's more, but they're nothing but a string of...words. Hokage-sama?"

"That man," the shinobi said. "Where...where is he now?"

"I do not know."

His eyes closed. "I see."

"Is this the answer you were looking for?"

"Yes. Thank you."

The old man nodded slowly. "Thank you for coming, Hokage-sama."

The shinobi turned and left without a word. Once he was outside, he took in his first breath in what seemed years.

The country sunlight was bright on his face, warm and welcoming. But the shinobi felt cold as if it were a snow-laden day.

Face no longer gentle or neutral, Naruto tilted his head up and breathed.

"Haku..."

* * *

Ambiguous at parts, I wanted to kill Haku off, but I also needed him around for Naruto. In the end I think I had the most fun with the gruesome scene that ended the Gatou arc.

Haku used to be really popular back in the day. If you think about it, he's the most important character for Naruto's development. The happy fics where I see Haku survive and being inducted in Konoha strains my belief. Feels good, sure, but it breaks his character too much. I tried not to make this Haku the same, but it's hard to justify him being alive for such a long time. The implications are all there in the oneshot, though, so I'm keeping this the way it is.


End file.
